No going back. No backslide. No relapse.
Ha. No way.
Of course I’ll have times I slip up, gain a pound when I’m not paying attention.
But I’m talking about the “big stuff.”
As I reach a smaller size, I am eliminating ALL the previous size clothes from my wardrobe. Most are being donated. Favorites are being cut into patches for the quilt I will make in South Africa. I was going to call it my “fat quilt” but I find that offensive. Fat doesn’t always mean unhealthy, or unfit. So, I am going to call it my “fitness quilt.” Because as a result of becoming more fit, and moving toward the lifestyle I want to have, the weight is coming off on its own, and I want to celebrate and have reminders of what I’ve accomplished.
My friend Jeff recently shared a video on Facebook that I loved. It is a “fat” Russian guy, out-dancing and out-energizing most of the “healthy” people around him. Why do we live in a culture where Winnie-the-Pooh is our favorite lovable children’s character, but a real-life Winnie-the-Pooh (albeit in this guy’s case maybe a drunk Pooh) is scorned, mocked, ridiculed? This is a guy I would want to be friends with.
.
.
I’ve gotten sick of everyone asking “So how much have you lost so far?” and trying to explain that my goal isn’t going to be measured in weight, but in what I consider my ideal pant size (anywhere from 10-12), my cholesterol numbers, and my blood pressure numbers. But most importantly, my success is measured by what I can do with my body.
My goal is to do housework and landscaping without feeling like I’m going to pass out, to haul firewood without feeling like I’ll drop it, and to play like I did when my body still worked as it should.
My goal is to hike trails, complete rope courses, dance up to speed for the entire length “Single Ladies” soundtrack, go horseback riding without worrying if they have a horse big enough for me, plow onto a monster slip ‘n slide down the side of our hill, rock climb and repel, screw my husband like a porn star, and of course, cage dive with great white sharks. These things require lung capacity, stamina, and strength that I have not had for a long time.
So what did I mean above, about the “big stuff?” I mean that this isn’t a diet. It is a lifestyle. I love being strong. I love having endurance, and I love the things I’m able to do around the house now. I’m still not a big fan of graveling the driveway. but I love that I can do it easily, and for however long it takes to get it done.
Are the stats still killing you anyway? 🙂
I get it. It’s dramatic and exciting, and I’ve been told to lighten up about revealing the weight, because some people even find it encouraging, or inspirational.
So fine. Here are “the stats”:
My heaviest weight was 262. My weigh-in last week was 225.5
36 pounds is the official number of weigh-loss to date. (Keep in mind, this is over a two year period of small changes, and new habits I can live with.)
My largest pant size was 26. I am currently a comfortable 20, and a muffin-top 18. 😉
My boob size is none of your dang business, but Kurt says I can assure you that all the strength training has my pectoral muscles in “perfect” shape to accentuate my cup size.
And the BEST PART? My blood pressure at Monday’s check-up was 120/80. This is the lowest it has been in many, many years.
Happy?
I am.
In fact, I think I’m going to put on a speedo, nothing else, and dance like a drunk Winnie-the-Pooh.
Love, Marla
P.S. Have you entered the weekly contest yet? I got you a beautiful, hardcover edition of wild: from lost to found on the pacific crest trail, signed just for you by the author, Cheryl Strayed! Click here to enter.
Good for you, Marla… on so many levels! For doing the work, for making the lifestyle changes, for realizing it’s NOT about the weight, etc. And about wanting to hang out with the drunk Speedo-wearing-Pooh, I have a friend here in Charlotte who would fit the bill. If you connect through Charlotte on a summer weekend on one of your trips to SA, look a sister up!
You forgot to mention “mooning at will, without the burden of extra material!”
Lookin happy sis!
Love you
I’m most excited about your blood pressure. =) I am! You know, a few weeks ago I was out at a thing being social, with people I haven’t seen in a little bit, and this jackass (who is obnoxious anyway), kept calling me a skinny bitch and telling everyone I was on a diet. As in, “And here’s her, who’s so f#cking skinny and she’s still on a diet!” To everyone within ear shot. He did that, like, five times. I wanted to hit him. Mainly because I know damn well I am not “overweight.” Ask a fitness junkie and check my BMI against my height and age or something and they’ll say differently, but I know what I *look* like. With clothes on and all.
It irked me because my paying attention to what I eat isn’t a “diet.” Apparently, in our culture, if you’re trying to eat healthfully, it means you’re “on a diet” and you’re trying to “lose weight,” everything else be damned. He made me seem like a psycho weight-obsessed freak (when that was clearly *his* issue). Meanwhile, I’m really thinking about my heart and my cholesterol and my blood pressure, etc. It seems to me that if I happen to lose weight because I am eating more healthfully, then that’s weight I’m not supposed to have in the first place. But I’m not going out of my way to lose it–I AM going out of my way to not eat like I want to *gain* weight.
People can be such assholes. That’s why, when I see you, I never mention it. Honestly, it doesn’t occur to me, because I’m reading about your *fitness* on the blog all the time and I’m blown away by that alone. Your weight…I don’t *care* about your weight! I care that you’ve absolutely tackled your lifestyle and owned it. THAT’S impressive. And it’s real change, not just some “quick-fix” that weight loss goals and diets usually are. Like, that MyFitnessPal is nice to calorie and vitamin numbers, but it’s way too weight-loss oriented. *sigh* 😉
I think it’s so awesome that you’re making a fitness quilt from your old clothes! Very inspiring, Marla! 🙂
I love you so much, Marla! You are freaking awesome, and Leslie’s comment is right on…you’re absolutely inspiring. I’m beyond fortunate to have you in my life as an aunt, a friend, a confidant, and a warrior. You’re looking amazing, and you’re obviously feeling the same way. Bully for you! Smart move getting rid of the larger clothes…I think a lot of people keep those around for when they’re having “fat days,” but now allowing yourself that option is terrific. And the fact that you’re calling your future project a “fitness quilt” instead of a “fat quilt” is very healthy and GJ of you. I can hear her saying that. …while wearing her Florida pants. 🙂 I LOVE YOU!
Marla, you are awesome! You inspire me to keep going with our half marathon and really work on my incremental goals. And the running is quickly becoming a lifestyle. You go girl!
I love you. This post is one of my favorites. I am so proud of you and your accomplishments. You are an inspiration for so many things, this is just one of them. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for being brave in your blog. Every post shows me just how courageous you are. Thank you.
YAY! You’ve got the right attitude and outlook. More power to ya!
You are looking good, Marla, and I applaud all of your reasons for wanting to lose the weight…many I share…especially the hiking and husband screwing (mine not yours) . I have always resented the way people would say things like …”.don’t you like the way you look now? ” and honestly i never disliked the way i looked…just the way i felt. And like you, I want to feel better.