Drinking Like the Trophy Wife of an Oil Tycoon

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Turkish food. (Photo credit: Doggy’s Style)

The blog name is Traveling Marla right?

So I’ll stick to the theme, see, I promised Marla I wouldn’t get her blog closed by picking touchy subjects like public exposure. (I had a great post about public exposure.)
Anyhow, I’m gonna tell you about my last trip to Turkey, lovely country.
It was a little over a year ago, plans were going to Syria, but things in Syria were not ideal at the moment so we decided to go to Turkey instead.
We were there for a month.
The minute we arrived and took the subway to our hotel we knew it was not what we thought it’d be.
One imagines a conservative society based on the fact that the predominant religion of the country is Muslim. Soon we learned that they are 90% Muslim as Spain is 100% catholic, just because they gotta be something.
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Turkish food. (Photo credit: Doggy’s Style)
Istanbul it’s a massive and vibrant city and older than many other cities in Europe, which brings me to: Why is it Turkey considered to be part of Europe?
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Turkish food. (Photo credit: Doggy’s Style)
Food is great, delicious, beyond fantastic, even street food, street food specially, ohhh and the juices, JC (I won’t say Jesus Christ because I don’t want to get him in the middle of this) almighty and all the apostles! The freshly squeezed juices.
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Turkish street food. (Photo credit: Doggy’s Style)
I won’t go on forever talking about the great sights of Turkey, it’d be an endless post, but I’d love to recommend going to Cappadocia and staying in a cave hotel…
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Cave Hotel in Turkey
and since you are there take an unguided hike and climb to the only cellphone tower there is. The view from the top is great.
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Climbing a phone tower in Turkey. (Photo credit: Doggy’s Style)
I didn’t say it is legal climbing there. Marla is not endorsing my suggestion, so do not sue her, you may sue me if you get arrested and end up in jail but I’m poor, so it’d be a double disappointment.
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Phone tower in Turkey. (Photo credit: Doggy’s Style)
A brother has to drink right? A brother needs booze, so a brother’s gotta look for booze.
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A few drops of “Turkish poison” (Photo credit: Doggy’s Style)

And this is what gets tricky in a “muslim” country, alcohol is not 100% legal, you find it in all the bars, but known brands are expensive.

A vodka (Absolute) and cranberry juice is around 25 Euros/ $33. I don’t travel cheap, I may be poor but when I travel I love to fake it, I love to feel like the trophy wife of an oil tycoon, however, there’s a limit. Getting wasted would mean I would have to spend at least $250 and you gotta agree, that spending that much just to barf 3 hours later is not a smart move at all.
So smart us (my friend and I ) decided to try the local brands, it worked, for half the price and a 10th of the amount I would need to get drunk with Absolute we both were totally hammered. That crap is poison, jet fuel perhaps, or nail polish remover.
To finish this story, let me summarize what we (my friend and I) made of that memorable trip:
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Turkish food. (Photo credit: Doggy’s Style)

-You can publicly kiss on the subway

-Never cut your hair in Istanbul if you don’t agree on the price before (60 Euros the hair cut)
-Fresh Nar Suya (pomegranate juice) kicks ass
-Cab drives are fearless and a cab rides are a total rush, that being said cab drivers are trustworthy, we were wasted 3 times and never, not once, were we ripped off
-You never know what getting wasted is until you try Turkish alcohol, it’s poison, poison I said
-Funny enough Turkish alcohol doesn’t give you a headache cuz it guarantees you will throw up the last bit of your stomach and liver the night before
Thank you all for reading and thanks to Marla for letting me blog here, it’s been a pleasure.
And visit Turkey, get wasted and have fun, that way you have stories to tell and be embarrassed of later on life.
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The author, in Cappadocia, Turkey (Photo credit: Doggy’s Style)
*About Leo, of Doggy’s Style:
Leo has a secret. Like many others who regularly read Traveling Marla, he is in love with her. Well, maybe not love-love, so much as the kind of love where he has a kinda minor obsession with her. Nothing pervy or anything. Just a lil’ crush. (C’mon, you know you have it, too…)This may be because he doesn’t ever see her alleged “Hulking Out” rages from hormonal imbalance, or sideways stuck poo, or papercut, inconsistently stacked dishes, or whatever other little things send her into a tailspin. (Okay, this is all a lie which Marla made him tell because she is holding hostage a lil’ brown cow she promised to send him.)
But seriously, writing about Leo, of Doggy’s Style is like staring at the sun. It’s bright and glorious, but staring too long makes you delirious, and possibly blind. He’s irreverent, appropriately inappropriate, well-traveled and dashing. He loves animals, but not in a love-love kinda’ way. Just a love kind. Y’know, not like a pervy weirdness, although he’s all kinds of pervy weirdness in other ways.
Leo wrote today’s post under duress. He is a little resentful that Traveling Marla still has not sent him a little eraser cow that she promised him last fall. And he was nice enough to send her a postcard from Morocco, pretending to be her wandering, knocked-up daughter to entertain the nosey postman. And she repays him with…what? A lil’ eraser cow? Hasn’t happened yet. {sigh}
Perhaps maybe it’s better to just go read his original bio after all…
*Poor lil’ Leo made the mistake of telling Marla to make up his bio for him.

Would you also like to stare at the sun for awhile? Come pester Leo with me, over at his blog: Doggy’s Style


Traveling Marla is unplugged for three weeks while she prepares for her move to South Africa. She put out a call for guest posts (see original request here), and is grateful to receive so much support! Please see the full list below.

Please support these writers by reading each of their guest posts and checking out their own blogs!

Thanks, as always for taking time to read my blog and comment. Although I’m offline right now, I will return in a few short weeks when we’re settled in South Africa and I promise to read all of your comments!

Love, Marla

Dakota Garilli
Trophos, of The Dancing Professor
Leo, of Doggy’s Style
Kayla, of Encounter Peru
Benjamin Prewitt – Expression of my life – An evolution of art
Kriscinda, of Heavy Metal Homesteading
Lynne, of Home Free Adventures
Jeff: my witty and hilarious ebberlubbinbrudder
Jody, of Human Triumphant
Julie of J-Bo.net
Ingrid, of Live Laugh RV
Ned Hickson of Ned’s Blog
Rose, of On the Go Fitness
Pierr Morgan
Leslie and Amanda, of Survival is Relative
Colin of Uber Beast Mode
Robyn, of You Think Too Much
Baz – The Landy (Out and About and Having Fun)
Brandon: my quirky, brilliant, dashing nephew
Dallas, of Crazy Train to Tinky Town

Caroline, of Currer and the Bells

24 thoughts on “Drinking Like the Trophy Wife of an Oil Tycoon

  1. I didnt dare to eat from the streets when I was there, now I gotta go back again. I did get drunk with Turkish alcohol though. It was fast and cheap indeed :))))))

  2. As much as I would love to visit, I am thinking I would end up in a street fight with the first man who groped me or otherwise offended my western sensibilities.

    Wonderful post though.

  3. When I was young, full of piss and vinegar, I think I would have enjoyed Turkey! Today’s old man with all the world issues would be too chicken shit! Loved the post though!!

    1. It was a really nice experience worth repeating, but I understand your point. We wanted to go to eastern Turkey, but things there would have been more delicate I guess.

  4. Well done Leo……most interesting info here…..40(ish) or maybe even 50(ish) years ago I MIGHT (underline MIGHT) have dared go to Turkey but these days watching Rick Steves on that travel show on PBS is as close as I’ll go now. However, you can regale me with your travels – much more interesting than Rick Steves (watching water freeze is more interesting than he is). Enjoyed visiting Marla’s blog…..!


  5. Isn’t Turkey considered a sort of “gateway” country, part Middle Eastern/Arab, part European? You know, kinda like the US is halfway between culture (our big cities) and Darwin’s worst nightmares (um – like where I live right now). 😉 😀

    1. hahahahaha
      You are right, Turkey is sorta the melting pot of this side of the world, a lot of russians tho and not the nice kinda. At times I felt like I was part on that show the Real Housewives of New Jersey, you know, full of white trash.

  6. Loved reading about your adventure! Gosh I would LOVE to be able to travel like you to such amazing places! I am totally green with envy!!!

    1. I guess for a woman traveling to muslim countries maybe different.
      We were 2 gay guys having fun, never felt like an “alien” (except for my friend, he’s blond and blue eyes, street vendors were all over him). Other than that was a great trip.

  7. I agree with you about the turkish booze – I was seemingly dead after a Yeni Raki competition (the Raki won). I had the same trout! (before the Raki) After all it’s a wonderful country – I would come back anytime! We used the dolmus taxi – together with a bazillion of other people – but for 2 Euros we’ve got a lot of fun too !

    1. Isn’t it fun when you know you are putting your life in risk bur you don’t care because there are other strangers in the position?
      Raki will always win, it’s like having a battle with absinthe, you’d never win that lol

      1. hahaha yes! Even Mr. van Gogh lost the Absinth-battle (and his ear too). Absinth is devilish – you need a whole week to be yourself again (or something like this)

  8. Just loved this post although would have enjoyed public exposure as well! Good job you didn’t try the moonshine variety of raki; apparently it makes you go blind!

    1. Raki was my first contact with Turkish alcohol, not bad but I’m not fan of anise-flavored booze. But Turkey is a place I’ll go back pretty soon, loved it.

    1. I put it on my list after watching Anthony Bourdain’s show, he showed a place called “Asitane”, they prepare food dating from the Ottoman empire, I had to try it. I convinced my friend and we took off, best decision ever.
      Thanks for passing by.

  9. A friend of my sister is Turkish and got married in Istanbul. It’s indeed a beautiful city, with many sights to see, but my mother and sister didn’t experience the country the same way I did. Only to look at a man was considered a sexual advance and at every street corner men were asking to speak to the father, because they wanted to offer 2 camels for my sister. My sister (she speaks Turkish a bit) then told them her mother was divorced, after which they called my mother a whore.

    Our differences are funny at first, but after a few days of being groped and not being able to walk outside for 5 minutes without being harassed or yelled at, they preferred to stay inside.

    I was honestly surprised that the CAPITAL of turkey isn’t very adjusted to (female) tourists.

    Btw, I didn’t know Turkey is a part of Europe?

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