Technical Difficulties and Marla Meltdown. The Computer-Brain Metaphor

computer stress memory space digital photography
computer stress memory space digital photography

Who fills a 285 GB hard drive? Apparently being a shutterbug and a hoarder do not mix.

What else is new? Really, who would I be without my crazy-beautiful rollercoaster of emotion?

More on that next week.

First, if you are reading this in your email inbox, thank you. I really appreciate that you enjoy this blog enough to have it delivered daily. There are only a handful of other blogs that I get in my inbox, and I know the combination of ingredients that makes me sign up for email delivery, so seriously…thank you.

A maxed out computer (see photos) reflected my maxed out brain this week, as I buckled under the looming deadline of submitting my manuscript for conference agents and the ongoing battle of loneliness, sugar addiction and everything OCD (you might remember that I blame everything on my OCD. It’s kind of my ongoing lifejoke, except that it’s frustrating and isn’t funny while you’re fighting against your own brain on a daily basis.) Anyway, add a typical Marla meltdown to this week and well, you can imagine it’s been a doozy.ย  To get any photos I have to take them with my camera, email them to my computer, then copy and paste them here. Even then it doesn’t always work. The beauty of digital photos is that you can take so many. The curse is in not developing them and making yourself remove them from your computer.

computer stress memory space digital photography

Recovery disk also nearly full. Why do I feel like this is all a reflection of my brain, lately?

My computer hard drive is 100% FULL. Who fills 285 out of 285 GB on a hard drive?!? (See first photo above). My recovery disk is likewise almost maxed out. I can’t preview photos or save files. It’s a nightmare of my own making because like so many things, I wait until something’s burning down before I address whether or not it might catch fire.

For all the time spent writing Preventive Action plans in my former career, I don’t seem to include them in life (unless I’m making lists of lists of lists of lists in an OCD-induced euphoria that actually never manifests itself into action).

The four things that really kept me from going over the edge this week were (1) inquiries from Michelle and Jeff telling me they missed my posts and hoping things were well; (2) an incredibly timed postcard from Leo (of the blog Doggy’s Style); (3) some tough love from my online fitness coach, Colin (of the blog UberBeastMode), and (4) always, always my husband who can diffuse a toxic meltdown by wrapping his arms around me and not letting go until all the anger is gone.

I will return this coming week, but in the meantime, I just wanted to log on and say thank you for missing me, thank you for looking forward to more, and thank you, always, for seeming to know and love the crazy-beautiful messed up parts of me lurking behind my strange daily posts.

Love, Marla

P.S. For any topic I write about, like OCD or fitness, you can simply type the word in the search box at the right and it will give you all the posts in which I’ve talked about it. My fitness has still been great, by the way. I’ll catch you up on that this week also.

P.P.S. In case you are wishing you had my posts delivered to your inbox daily, you can sign up by typing your email address under “Get Marla Delivered Daily” on the right of this post, and make sure to confirm it in your inbox.

15 Comments on “Technical Difficulties and Marla Meltdown. The Computer-Brain Metaphor

  1. You totally come to my inbox. =) I’ve only posted to my blog twice this week. I was hoping you were a little thin on the posts for the same reason I was–I’m in the middle of a writing storm! Nervous breakdown to follow. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • You too, Kris! Yeah, this manuscript has been kicking my butt. I finally got it overnighted to the conference. I have 4 agent meetings there and am nervous as all get-out, you know?
      My brain really gets spun around the more I try to revise and rewrite sections. It’s hard to keep the overall plan in mind when I’m digging around in one part.

  2. I LOVE your blogpostings. I LOVE your writing, your sense of humor amidst utter distress (not that I want you to have it or that you’re only witty with it)…you have a gift and I’m so grateful that you share it. Take all the time you need. I’m taking some days to move a droozly cold from my head. Me thinks it’s those sugar toxins being released. Hang in. Cheers! – Pierr

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