WHERE in the World is WARLA? I mean, MARLA?!
Our ever engaging and entertaining friend, Marla, has gone MIA!! (Well, some of us may know where she is. I’m not saying for sure that we do; I’m not saying we don’t. But if we did, we might not be telling…. Okay, if you insist. She’s moving to South Africa.) Meanwhile, she wasn’t using this blog site, so we thought, ‘What the heck? It’s empty.’ And we moved in.
Actually, Marla invited me over for the day. She even asked me to be your hostess with the most-est. That got me to thinking (yeah, I do that occasionally)…I’ll bet you’re already missing her! Yep, me too. So I thought we’d play a game. (Okay, maybe Marla gave me the prompt. I’m not saying she did…I’m not saying she didn’t.)
I just figured, if I was Marla and this happened to be my blog, how would I take it over for a day?
As a researcher of sorts, a few ideas (and smiles) came to mind…
First, we all know how Marla loves to moon famous landmarks and monuments. So, I figured, what the h#ll? (I get censored from saying that word on my blog site, but I’m on Marla’s site today…so what the h#ll, right?) What would be one of the most taboo places for me to take you to fulfill this magnificent Marla-moment? I’ll bet you were thinking the same as me – the White House, right? Of course you were. If you weren’t, go back and review your April tax return. Yeah, now we’re on the same page!
Here’s a picture of me and my son, mooning the White House. Okay, so we had to be a little more discreet about it than Marla, I’ll admit. But those Secret Service guys in DC are a nervous bunch. They start coming out of the woodwork like termites from George Washington’s teeth the minute you reach for your zipper.
Alright. So maybe I didn’t measure up to the buff-butted Marla on that one. The good news is…we’ve still got time to try again. I’m thinking something along the lines of…a field trip. Yeah…Marla likes to take us on her exciting excursions, wherever she goes, so I’m going to take you somewhere you probably don’t get to go very often – surgery!
Now before you start wondering, let me just go ahead and clear this matter up. I didn’t go there for elective surgery – unless you’ve considered removing your spurs to make your foot look thinner…or if you think the orthotic boot makes for a sexy enhancement. (If so, you may want to rethink this.) When it was all said and done, I got a little miffed with my surgeon about the outcome. During my follow-up visit, he had the nerve to inform me he wasn’t sure he was completely pleased with the way things had turned out. Typical man, I thought – wants to mess around with me for a short time, permanently scar me for life, then tell me there’s something that’s just not quite right about me.
Yeah, my past husband used to complain I had ugly feet too. Apparently, all my little piggies got jammed up or wee-wee’ed off having to go to market. They’re toes, people! Toes! Maybe I have better assets. If not, we can go back to surgery. You first…
Despite my post-relationship bitterness, as you can see from above, I was all grins before my doc had me hop onto that bed and wheeled me back into our more secluded surgical suite. Obviously, I was feeling a little giddy & flirty. With who, I’m not exactly certain. It could’ve been the bedpan. The thing is, I really can’t remember that night. Those hospital people apparently slipped some Mickeys in the IV – you know, the one they claim is just to keep you hydrated. (wink wink…sure it is.) Then somebody took that incriminating photo of me making the oxygen monitor on my finger talk to the anesthesiologist (and apparently anyone else who happened by) – or so they tell me…
(Clearing my throat.) Well, maybe we’ll just call that one Strike Two in regards to a magnanimous Marla-moment. Moving along again…
Wait! Don’t leave! They say the third time’s a charm. I really wanted to take you to work-outs with me (because that would absolutely be a Marla-thang), but heck, on the day I thought about doing that, I decided I’d rather practice meditation as a couch-potato. So, I got to thinking (while I was meditating). What could I get accomplished while lying around and still make it seem to Marla’s readers like I was being productive? That’s when it hit me! I could send in a DNA sample to National Geographic and let somebody else be doing the work! That’s something Marla would definitely do! So I did…
…and I hoped upon hope to be able to tell you that I was from the Ming Dynasty – or maybe I was the offspring of Nefertiti, or let’s just go with Aphrodite. But wouldn’t you know? Leave it to some Podunk operation like National Geographic to screw around with my DNA and mess things up. Instead of my own personalized DNA map of Branch Davidians, all I got was this stupid t-shirt letter:
Remember, folks: I don’t make the news. In Marla’s absence, I’m just here to report it!
Working hard to make you miss Marla even more,
About Me (Human Triumphant)
After several times of being prodded by pals to share my writings and ramblings, I decided to stop dismissing their suggestions and just follow their advice.
That’s always been my downfall in life, you see – following my friends’ advice.
Frankly, I never understood why my dad felt the need to ask if all my friends jumped off the Market Street Bridge, would I jump too? I mean, how many excursions did he really need to take me on to solidify his answer? It seemed pretty obvious to me.
There was no way I was going to take a chance that I might miss out on some of life’s excitement!
And therein lies the intent of this blogging adventure…
to celebrate the exciting & wondrous gift of our triumphant human spirits – whether by humor, inspiration or insight.
So glad your spirit got to join my spirit on such an incredible life journey as the human
Traveling Marla is unplugged for three weeks while she prepares for her move to South Africa. She put out a call for guest posts (see original request here), and is grateful to receive so much support! Please see the full list below.
Please support these writers by reading each of their guest posts and checking out their own blogs!
Thanks, as always for taking time to read my blog and comment. Although I’m offline right now, I will return in a few short weeks when we’re settled in South Africa and I promise to read all of your comments!
Love, MarlaBaz – The Landy (Out and About and Having Fun) Brandon: my quirky, brilliant, dashing nephew Dallas, of Crazy Train to Tinky Town CultFit Caroline, of Currer and the Bells Dakota Garilli Trophos, of The Dancing Professor Leo, of Doggy’s Style Kayla, of Encounter Peru Benjamin Prewitt – Expression of my life – An evolution of art Kriscinda, of Heavy Metal Homesteading Lynne, of Home Free Adventures Jeff: my witty and hilarious ebberlubbinbrudder Jody, of Human Triumphant Julie of J-Bo.net Ingrid, of Live Laugh RV Ned Hickson of Ned’s Blog Rose, of On the Go Fitness Pierr Morgan Leslie and Amanda, of Survival is Relative Colin of Uber Beast Mode Robyn, of You Think Too Much